"Remember when I said to you Marcie, the one person I can't protect you from is yourself?"

Wise words.
Which one of myselves was he talking about anyway?
My psyche is divided, fragmented, and misplaced.
People say you can only try and be the best person you can be.
So far, I have turned into a professional for destroying myself.
I Manage to get my life into some kind of order, then I ruin it.
I quit my job, and then, get so down on myself that I destroy the relationship I had with possibly one of the nicest guys I've ever met. A relationship that could've been perfect, and everything I'd ever wanted, if I'd just...spoken. Asked for things. Communicated.
Maybe it's just this inner monster in me, that gets tired of the same thing, tearing away at the seams of my world, unpicking all the work I do, and then throwing my losses in my face.

What can I say? Since then, I've lost five kilos, all my savings, a quarter of my sanity, a third of my alcohol stash, and I've gained what seems to be a rather disgusting smoking habit, and too much time to ponder on my fucked up state of affairs, and general self-hatred.

I'm grateful for people like Wolfie and Ro, who keep me sane and stable. Call me up and haul my arse out to get drunk and merry with them. I went to Soundwave, curtesy of the Ross St. Crew, and had an amazing time listening to the wonders of Trent Reznor's voice.
*quiver*
I'll let you all know that I have been making things. Things I need to take pictures of and post here.
Generally, I'm okay. Just angry at myself and hating myself.
But you know, it's just me and my own form of self punishment.
I swear to myself,

I will never, ever let myself down this badly again.